Hi, friends,
Thank you so much to all who have followed me on my blogging journey! I'm excited to announce that I have now moved my blog to my website and art store, Lauren's Easel, and hope you'll follow me there as my journey continues. Blessings, Lauren
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Dear family and friends,
How is it already November and almost a month since I've written? I hope you are all rejoicing as we near Thanksgiving and many of us put extra focus on counting our blessings and thanking God for His goodness. Lately, I've had writer's block when it comes to posting here. I keep a detailed symptom diary and email Dr. L a big-picture summary weekly. I note in my emails what symptoms have improved or worsened recently. I test my urine 2x a day, and I record the results. I also monitor its color; currently, it's brown from clearing Babesia waste products. I check my oxygen saturation levels daily and my temperature multiple times a day because I often run fevers. I record what days and times I take various medicines and supplements, and I analyze my responses to them. When it comes to emailing Dr. L, knowing what to write isn't much of a struggle, although brain fog does make it harder. However, when it comes to writing here, I'm often not sure what to say because I don't want these updates to read like medical charts. Still, I know many of you are praying for me, and I greatly appreciate that. Here is a more general update for you, my friends. Since I last wrote, I've added in an herbal anti-babesial, and I am currently on half of the full dose of that. I've felt more flu-like and brain foggy most days of the past month and have been able to do little besides lay in bed due to the intense treatment. Fortunately, this past week things have been starting to calm down again, and I've been able to get outside again for mile walks several days. The hard thing is that anytime I start to feel better, I have to ramp up on treatment again so the "better days" don't last very long. Still, the intense treatment and the herxing is what allows me to experience better days, so I don't mind how sick the herxing makes me feel so long as it makes me feel better in the long run. And fortunately, that is exactly what has been happening on Babesia treatment! I am slowly getting better as we bring the infectious load down. I am currently on all the anti-babesials in Dr. L's protocol, except for one I was unable to take due to a drug rash, but I am not on the full doses of two of those anti-babesials. One of the anti-babesials that I'm taking has a two week half-life, so I only take it once a week. The level of medication in my body builds gradually with every weekly dose and does so for three months on any given dose, so I'm effectively increasing the medication level in my body every time I take it, even if I'm not upping the actual milligrams. As my herxing calms down more, we will up the milligrams again. I'm also going for a Bartonella blood smear tomorrow. Babesia is my main infection and the main one we are currently targeting, but I still have Bartonella. Lately, much of my limited energy has been going towards my art store, LaurensEasel.com (art comes easier to me than reading due to my struggles with brain fog), and if you're local and order, we'd love for you to pick-up your products at our home so we can visit. Please comment for a free shipping code if your order is under $35 and if you'd like to pick-up. It's been wonderful to have a few visitors recently! Many people have told me that they are using my products as gifts, and that makes me happy. I've also recently become email friends with another young lady in her twenties who also has Babesia odocoilei and Bartonella, and that has been a blessing for both of us. I'm thankful for all the people I have become friends with as a direct result of my illness. Additionally, November is Caregivers Awareness Month, and I'm thankful for my family, especially my parents, and for the way they're cared for me my whole life, but especially since I became ill 6.5 years ago. And I am thankful for my doctors who are trailblazing a path forward for me and for all who have chronic Babesia odocoilei and Bartonella. I am also thankful for you. Thank you for your prayers, donations, and words of encouragement. May God bless you all. Joyfully in Jesus, Lauren Dear friends, It has been nearly a month-and-a-half since I have posted a health update here. While my health is up and down, fortunately, I'm still trending forward. Early last month, I began a new antibiotic against Babesia. It has a 2 week half-life, which means it takes 2 weeks for a dose to lose half its potency! Yes, it is very strong! Because of this, I only take this antibiotic 1x per week. The levels in my body are building up with each weekly dose and will continue to do so over 3 months on any given dose. Hopefully, I'll be able to increase the milligrams of my weekly dose in a few weeks. It depends how I'm tolerating the treatment and what my oxygen saturation levels are. I also still have another anti-babesial to add when I can tolerate it. When my health allows, I enjoy art, and I'm excited to share that I now have an online store, LaurensEasel.com! There you'll find cards with my artwork, miniature acrylic paintings on easels (they make lovely gifts and desk decorations), and a 2022 Christian nature calendar that I designed. The calendar is 8.5"x11", and each month features a season appropriate nature photo taken by my family, friends, and myself and a Bible passage. 100% of the profits from my art store goes toward my medical GoFundMe campaign. For those wanting to support my art store and thus raise money for my treatments, here are ways to help:
I am very thankful to feel well enough to spend some of my time each week on my art. Art is easier for me than reading and writing due to my struggles with brain fog, and it is a good outlet. I still spend the majority of my time in bed as I still battle severe fatigue, fevers, flu-like symptoms, etc, but I am continuing to make progress. I walk a mile several days each week, and a few times a month I have some better days than I've had in 6 years. Thankfully, I had one of those "good days" on Monday, and I was able to visit my 91 year old maternal grandma, who is in an assisted living facility 1 hour from where we live. I also felt well enough to stop briefly at a nature reserve near her. I herxed and felt worse from my morning of activity, but I was so happy to be able to go. Days where I can get out still aren't my "normal," but I'm healing and making progress. I am thankful for the support of my family, friends, and doctors. Both Dr. L and Dr. M will be in Florida from tomorrow (10-13-21) until Sunday (10-17-21) for a 4 day conference where they will be teaching other doctors about how to treat the infections and resulting conditions that I have. I have a feeling that my case will be discussed! 🙂 Thank you for your continued prayers. Love in Christ, Lauren Above are some of my mini paintings on easels. More designs are available at LaurensEasel.com.
This week I created a Facebook account.
I stayed off Facebook and social media for years, and I'm glad I did. I'm 20, and I have maturity and discernment that I didn't have as a young teenager. It's easy to get tangled up with the wrong people on social media, to post things that are better kept private, to draw my value from how many Likes a post receives, and to waste a lot of time scrolling through posts irrelevant to me. While I still have to fight against such things, I would have fallen into these pitfalls easier at a younger age. But I still have to be careful no matter how old I am. I'm still maturing, and I still hesitated to hit the blue sign-up button on Sunday to create a Facebook account. Ultimately, I signed up because I'll soon be launching an online art store called Lauren's Easel and a Facebook page seemed to be a good way to market it. Facebook is also a good way to share this blog to hopefully encourage more people with my writing. But the thing that concerns me most about Facebook is how easy it makes "friendship." I don't want my friendships to become shallow, and Facebook makes that easy. There is beauty in intentional friendship, and intentional friendship is worth the effort. I've heard it said before that you only love as well as you're inconvenienced, and I believe it's true. And Facebook makes it very easy to not be inconvenienced much. You can just Like someone's post when maybe you should be picking up the phone, writing an email, or visiting them to engage them directly and to hear how they're really doing. Facebook can deceive us into thinking we're meeting each other's needs for community when often we're simply staring into a screen. I could go on about the dangers of social media, but I am choosing to use it like my razor. Used correctly and it yields good results. Used incorrectly and it yields bad results. That doesn't mean I shouldn't use my razor; it just means I need to use it with care. That is how I view my new Facebook account. Are you on Facebook? What advice can you share with me? I've been laying in bed, wondering what to post on my blog today. Good news folks, you'll still have a post. Inspiration has finally struck me! Here are five ways I'm using my five senses RIGHT now. Sight: I'm looking at silly family pictures on my electronic photo frame. I wonder if I'm allowed to post any here. Maybe they are too embarrassing to share. No, really they are cute. Here you go. Caption our expressions! It seems my poor parents had a hard time taking any "normal" photos of us!
Hearing: I'm hear my air purifier, which serves as a white noise machine when I turn it up to the highest setting at night. I also hear my fingers striking my keyboard. I hear a neighbor cutting grass. Touch: My fingers are touching my keyboard, and much of my body is touching cotton fabric. Smell: Sniff, sniff, sniff. Do I smell anything besides my sweat from running a fever? Okay, I just opened my window so that I can say I'm smelling the fresh air and the sweet grass that my neighbor is cutting. Taste: I taste a bit of banana still lingering in my mouth from when I ate it one hour ago. Now I'm fasting until 5 PM. I have a very strict eating schedule because I must take certain medications and supplements on an empty stomach multiple times each day. How are you using your five senses RIGHT now? Hello, family and friends,
I'm popping on my blog with an update. Thank you so much for your continued prayers! When I last wrote, I was about to make several medication changes/adjustments. Fortunately, I've handled most those well and even noticed mild improvements in how I felt. Unfortunately, I didn't handle one of the antibiotic switches and seem to have developed a drug rash. It got bad enough that I had to stop the new antibiotic and go back on the old one. Thankfully, my rash is much better now. The next step is to add another antibiotic this Thursday. It is the most potent Babesia antibiotic available, so we expect me to herx and feel much worse initially. I'm also at risk of killing a lot of red blood cells (RBCs) because Babesia is a blood parasite, and when you kill Babesia, you subsequently kill the RBCs it infects. I might kill a lot of healthy RBCs too because if a Babesia infected RBC touches a healthy RBC the healthy RBC becomes abnormal enough that the spleen will remove it. Prayers that I don't become anemic or need a blood transfusion are much appreciated. Things are still very up and down in how I feel, but I continue to feel improvements between herxes. Those improvements are gradually adding up to bigger milestones, and there was much excitement when I recently had enough energy to go paddle-boating with my mom for one hour straight and to walk 1 mile. Paddle-boating for an hour plus walking a mile is the longest I've been able to sustain exercise that physically demanding for 6 years! It came about when I'd asked my mom to take me for a walk at Twin Lakes Park, and I'd packed money because I was secretly hoping I might feel well enough to rent a boat. The funny thing was that when we got in the car Mom mentioned the possibility herself and said she had money. Then when we got to the boathouse, Mom realized she'd forgotten her purse in the car, and I was the one who had the money and the needed photo ID to rent the boat. You better believe I teased her that I was the responsible adult this time. :) Now that I've shared that good news, I need to add the context that I was mostly in bed the rest of that paddle-boating day, and I had more fatigue and flu-like herx symptoms afterwards. Exercise makes me feel worse because it dislodges more Babesia into my bloodstream for my body to kill. "Good days" might only last a few hours, but considering that in 2018 - 2019 I used a wheelchair and depended on my family for everything from bringing pureed food to my bedside to washing my hair, well, it's pretty amazing I could paddle-boat. That's why I was excited to tell Dr. L about my paddle-boating adventure in an email, and he was excited too. I also learned a lesson: When you email your doctor about such a milestone, include a picture of you and your mom in the boat, even if it's a selfie you feel self-conscious about. Don't expect your doctor to settle for just seeing pictures of the lake because he'll ask, "No picture of you and your mom in the boat?" And then you'll have an awkward moment of wondering what to reply because you can't say you forgot to attach the picture. In the end, I sent the requested photo along with a joke that I did have further evidence that we were really in a paddle-boat, and he replied, "Very good--NOW I believe you! ;-)" Haha. I haven't had another day like the paddle-boating day, and now that I'm about to ramp up on treatment I will likely feel much worse. But we're encouraged, and we know that the treatment is working. Thank you for your continued prayers and support over the last 6 years. Love in Christ, Lauren Do you like board games, storytelling from a picture, guessing from a clue, and deceiving people? Hehe, on the final question, but it is part of the game. You do? Well, Dixit is the perfect game to suit your fancy. If you’ve never heard of it, you’re in for a real treat. I like Dixit because it only takes about 30 minutes to play, is suitable for 3-6 players, and is recommended for ages 8+. I love Dixit because of the creativity and storytelling it inspires. Here’s a brief synopsis of the game from the manufacturer, “The players have hands of oversized cards with various artistic pictures. The active player secretly selects one of his cards and gives a very brief description. The other players secretly select their own cards which match the description. The chosen cards are shuffled and revealed, then players vote on which was chosen by the active player. Each correct answer gives points to the guesser and the active player. Each incorrect answer gives points to the player who submitted the guessed card. However, if all of the guesses are correct -- or none of them are -- then the active player gets no points and all the other players get points. The game ends when the deck is empty. The greatest total wins the game.”
In other words, Dixit is a game of storytelling from a picture on a card. Either you’re the player telling the story or you’re amongst the players choosing your most deceiving card that matches the story and then taking a guess at which picture is correct. Sounds fun? Play a round with me sometime or buy your own copy on Amazon. Well, friends, the rubber hit the road on Wednesday and Thursday of last week. My parents and I were in the car for a roundtrip total of 11 hours as we made my medical trip to see Dr. L in North Eastern PA. Praise God for safe travels!
I had a thorough appointment with Dr. L that lasted 90 minutes. Obviously, we discussed a lot during that long appointment, but the summary is that we are making several medication changes. Currently, I'm decreasing my thyroid medications, and in the coming weeks, I'll be switching out 2 of my antibiotics for stronger ones. I'm staying on Mepron, the Yellow Paint Medicine, and I'm on the full dose now! I also need a baseline EKG before I start one of the new antibiotics due to possible drug interactions. Please pray for strength for me as the treatment is about to greatly intensify, and we expect it to cause a lot of herxing and to make me feel much worse initially. The treatment is extremely difficult, but between herxes, I do feel improvements. Honestly, being diagnosed with Babesiosis has been a breakthrough for me. I've been sick for over 6 years, and with the exception of correcting hormonal problems, I've made more progress since we began treating me for Babesia in January of this year than I have with treating anything else. My diagnosis of being infected with Bartonella is still correct, but it seems Babesia has always been the main cause of my illness. Babesia odocoilei, the strain I have, is carried by 20% of deer ticks in PA, and it's the only tickborne illness where the larvae are born infected. I have no known history of a tick bite, but the larvae are tiny and often go unnoticed. I am one of the first diagnosed cases of a human being infected with this particular strain, but Babesia odocoilei is not rare and my doctors expect to see more positive results now that we finally have testing available for it. Dr. M, my doctor in the D.C. area, is the one who invested in the equipment to test for this. We know I'll need treatment against Babesia until I feel well and no longer herx on the anti-babesial antibiotics, but Dr. L told me that he doesn't know how long that will be. Everyone responds differently, and the infection is hard to kill and may be impossible to fully eradicate. However, I am blessed that Dr. L is determined to help me, is constantly researching Babesia, and is going to be teaching other doctors about everything he's learned at a large medical conference in Florida in October. Fortunately, I held up better on this medical trip than I did on all previous ones, but I was pushing myself and crashed afterwards. I'm so thankful for my mom and dad who took me and prepared for being away. Our route home took us through Ricketts Glen State Park, and we were able to stop for 20 minutes and enjoy an easily accessible waterfall. It was so refreshing and beautiful to see. I hope someday I can go back and hike, but first I have a metaphorical mountain to continue climbing. It's an uphill battle, but I'm climbing it one step at a time. Woohoo! I've officially been blogging for six months!
When I started this blog in February, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to sustain it, but God has blessed me with the strength to post weekly. I'm so thankful for this place to share my thoughts, to see my community of readers grow, and hear how God has used my words to encourage others. However, it's now time for a new chapter. God has placed other projects on my heart, including writing a short book about my journey, creating a 2022 Christian nature calendar, designing Christian greeting cards, and launching an online store. I wish I could pursue those projects and still blog weekly, but my energy is limited. Going forward, I'm cutting back to blogging every other Tuesday. Everyone, you may breathe a sigh of relief. This is far from a goodbye post, but rather an explanation as to why I won't be posting as frequently. You're not getting rid of me, and you should hear from me again in two weeks. :) I'd appreciate your prayers for God's blessings as I pursue these new projects and also for strength as I am currently in a very intense phase of Babesia treatment. Thanks so much for your support! Are you unable to serve God in the way you want? Have you ever felt like you have almost nothing to offer God and others?
I have. My chronic illnesses mean I have days and in the past years, where I can do almost nothing but lay in bed. At my worst, I depended on my family to bring my food to my bedside, to wash my hair, and to push me in my wheelchair. Almost all I could offer God and others was a testimony of trusting Him as laid very weak and sick in bed. My health has since improved, allowing me enough mental focus to pray for others and the strength to write encouraging cards and to run this blog, but still, compared to my healthy friends, I can’t give much. It can be discouraging to be able to contribute so little, but what does God say about my seemingly small gifts? Let’s look at Mark 12:41-44. "And He [Jesus] sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. And He called his disciples to Him and said to them, 'Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.'” In her book, But God, Wouldn’t I Be More Useful to You if I Were Healthy?, Esther Smith explains, "Jesus looked at the widow’s small offering and saw anything but insignificance. He was greatly pleased with her sacrifice, despite the small quantity she had to give. Contrary to the ways of this world, Jesus sees service as an act of sacrifice, not a competition to see who can give the most. Just as the widow gave out of a poverty of financial ruin, in the same way, those who live with debilitating chronic pain give out of a poverty of health." Friend, like me, you may have an illness that keeps you from offering much, but just give God what you can from your limited energy and resources. In the eyes of Jesus, your encouraging note and prayer for someone hurting may be an even bigger sacrifice than someone else's mission trip. Jesus counts not what you give but what you keep, and He knows what you have to offer is different than a healthy person. After all, He’s a God who counts two copper coins as a precious gift. On Friday, my heart sinks as my mom tells me that songbirds are dying of an unknown illness. I hold back tears as I read the article and look at the dead bird in the picture. Birds are my friends. They're what I always watched from my window while in bed. Now with a heavy heart I slip outside to put my bird feeder away as the article instructs. I wonder if I'll find a dead bird. I don't like that thought, yet I know that not a sparrow falls to the ground without the Lord's permission and knowledge. (Matthew 10:29) I know He cares for the birds, I know He cares for me, and I know that really we are all dying every day, but a new creation is coming. I take comfort in that. I take comfort in this future hope, but I can't deny the pain of this world. I can't deny that the birds are dying, that children are starving, and that I have friends suffering in ways most cannot fathom. I can't deny that sometimes I lie awake at night feverish and sweaty, then cold, then hot again, and all the while my head pounds and my stomach revolts, and I desperately whisper, "Jesus, have mercy," as I try to fall back asleep. I can't deny there is so much pain in this world that I didn't even list. And I can't deny that God allows all this pain, and He could stop it this instant. So why doesn't He? I don't know, but when I look to the cross, I do know what the answer can't be. "It can’t be that He doesn’t love us! It can’t be that He doesn’t care. He is so committed to our ultimate happiness that he was willing to plunge into the greatest depths of suffering himself."¹ That evening as I look outside my window, now with no bird feeder, I listen to Is He Worthy by Andrew Peterson, and the words are a balm to my weary heart. "Do you feel the world is broken? (We do) Do you feel the shadows deepen? (We do) But do you know that all the dark won't Stop the light from getting through? (We do) Do you wish that you could see it all made new? We do) Is all creation groaning? (It is) Is a new creation coming? (It is) Is the glory of the Lord to be the light within our midst? (It is) Is it good that we remind ourselves of this? (It is) Does the Father truly love us? (He does) Does the Spirit move among us? (He does) And does Jesus, our Messiah hold forever those He loves? (He does) Does our God intend to dwell again with us? (He does)" Amen, come Lord Jesus. Today I'm excited to share a guest post from my friend Tammi Rhoney. May you be encouraged by her powerful testimony. Thorns hurt! We have several rose bushes in our backyard, and when I accidentally brush my hand or arm against one, OUCH! is the first word out of my mouth. Sometimes the wound is deep and the pain is so sharp that it brings tears to my eyes. Thorns are a lot like the severe trials that the LORD brings into our lives. They humble us, hurt us, and often cause lots of tears, disappointments, frustrations, and pain. My most challenging thorn from God’s Hand to date is when I first became chronically ill in 1993 with severe Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E.). This thorn has been much more challenging than the amputation of my left leg in 1986 and was very unplanned and unwanted. I spent the first few years almost constantly pleading with the LORD to remove it. I wanted a “quick fix” from my suffering, but as Sinclair Ferguson says, “God is not in the business of quick fixes.” So, after much pleading, begging and bargaining with God for my thorn to be removed like Paul did in 2 Corinthians 12:8, the complete healing that I longed for never came. Obviously the Lord had more in mind than my happiness. He wants me to learn the character qualities that Paul spoke about in Romans 5:1-5 and James mentions in James 1:2-3, specifically endurance, perseverance, godly character, and hope in my ongoing trial with M.E. However, in 2001 and in His great mercy, God did provide for me to be in a drug study at my doctor’s office in Charlotte with an experimental drug called Ampligen. Ampligen is only administered through an IV and is not yet FDA approved, but getting closer. Since 2001, I’ve been on and off of Ampligen for 6 ½ years now, and thankfully the Lord has used this drug to help me feel better and improve some of my physical and cognitive symptoms over a very long period of time. Now, twenty-eight years later, my thorn is still with me, but I’ve come a long way from where I was physically. Like it or not, I’m still an M.E. sufferer and have endured much chronic suffering through the twenty-eight years I’ve been ill. It’s possible that this thorn will be with me for the rest of my earthly life, but over time God has given me a different perspective. Instead of hating my affliction, I’m learning to be thankful for my thorn and what God is teaching me through it. I try daily to remember and heed God’s command in Scripture to “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing and give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus,” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV), but some days it’s still very hard because of my limitations and the isolation. God teaches the true Christian much through physical suffering although in America we don’t welcome it. Some of the ways God has used M.E. in my life include showing me my sins, humbling me (I had to crawl around our home for ten months wearing my husband’s red soccer knee pads), and conforming me more into Christ’s image, which is an extremely slow, painful and ongoing sanctification process until I reach my Heavenly home. He has slowed me down significantly through my affliction and is teaching me the importance of being more of a Mary instead of a Martha (Luke 10:38-42) and how it pleases Him when I offer up my “Widow’s Mite” of energy in service to Him each day (Luke 21:1-4). I’m learning that it’s not the doing in this life that’s most important, although it has its place. The biggest priority of the Believer is to know God better, to love Him more and to desire, above all else, to be more like Jesus. Affliction has a way of showing me my sins in all of their glory so that I can repent of them daily and the insignificance of things that I once thought were very important, but are of no eternal value. It has forced me to be in the Word more and prioritize what really matters in this life, deepened my prayer life and dependence on the LORD, given me a deep empathy for others going through severe trials and difficulties, and given me a more intimate relationship with Christ. In our humanness and sinfulness, we tend to think of physical suffering as a curse and waste, especially when it rules out active Christian service. However, our Sovereign, good and very faithful God can and does bring good out of pain and suffering for the true Christian as He promises to do in Romans 8:28. We can trust God with our pain and suffering, even offering it back to Him as a sacrifice. It might even provide a way of serving God. I love this quote by Margaret Clarkson in her excellent book Grace Grows Best in Winter, “…I wonder if the pain itself may not be a source of service to God. True service is spiritual, consisting not so much in doing as in being; and the quality of service one may bring is not determined by its quantity, nor by much activity. If a soul that has been taught to suffer can look up into the face of the Savior and not only accept severe pain as from His Hand, but thank Him for it, knowing that it is good, even perfect, just because it comes from Him, may not that soul be offering to God one of the purest forms of worship and service known to the spirit of man?” Those of us who are chronically ill have the blessing of offering up our physical suffering, sorrow, pain, fatigue, disappointment, whatever it may be, to God as an offering and to rest in the palm of His Hand. I’m learning to be thankful for my thorn and the opportunity to know my Suffering Savior better through it. Tammi Rhoney loves JESUS, the doctrines of Justification & Predestination, beautiful butterflies, bird watching, photography, sewing, and stenciling. Her favorite seasons are spring and fall. Because she is mostly homebound, she takes photos in her backyard, adds Scripture to them and makes them into 2 cards sizes and 5 canvas sizes. You can view her photos on her Facebook page titled “Tammi Rhoney Photography.” She also loves her very supportive and helpful husband of almost 25 years, Todd, and her black & tan miniature dachshund named Mini.
Do you love God's creation? Do you love photography?
I have the perfect opportunity for you! Submit a photo to be featured in my 2022 Christian nature calendar. All proceeds from sales will help cover my medical expenses. The Rules:
By submitting, you also give me permission to edit your photo (eg: cropping and adding Scripture or quotes such as from hymns). Have fun, invite your friends to participate, and don't hesitate to contact me with any questions! I aim to have the calendars available for sale online by the end of August. Taking Mepron is a bit like working a construction job. It's hard, it makes me sweat (literally!), and I have to PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
Mepron also reminds me of construction because it's YELLOW. It's called the Yellow Paint Medicine, after all. So how are things going on Mepron? Well, it's a crazy ride of ups and downs, but I'm making progress. Most days I feel worse, as my symptoms have intensified on the treatment. But between herxes, I have had a few days with more energy than I've had in 5 years. That doesn't mean I felt great on those days, but when I went for a mile walk, shopped at Walmart, and then cleaned my room all in one day, it was encouraging! I'm not sure when I'll have another day like that, but it gives me hope! For the past week, I've been feeling much more flu-like again. The hard thing is that when I feel a little better, I have to increase the medicine again, which makes me feel worse initially. Lately, I've had a lot of nausea, sweating, fevers, achiness, and malaise from all the herxing. I'm on 1.5 tsp of Mepron now, and I am increasing weekly. Likely, I'll be on the full dose of 4 tsp in another 5 weeks. Then we'll be adding the next anti-Babesia medicine. There are 3 anti-Babesia medicines besides Mepron that I'll eventually be on, but we have to add them in and increase them slowly. The treatment is intense, so I have to email my doctor weekly and proceed with caution. Hope. It’s what we crave most when suffering. We long to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We long to know that our pain isn’t random or senseless. It’s because of this longing that Kristen Wetherell and Sarah Walton wrote Hope When It Hurts: Biblical Reflections to Help You Grasp God’s Purpose in Your Suffering. I have read many books on suffering, but Hope When It Hurts is a favorite. It’s one that I reread every year and often flip open when I’m struggling the most. I love this book because Kristen and Sarah don't shy away from hard realities but write about them with compassion and a gospel perspective. They vulnerably share their own struggles and show how God is at work on even their worst days. Their book is a “balm for weary hearts,” as Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth put it. This is a book for anyone suffering, be it physical, emotional, or psychological. The cloth cover and ribbon bookmark may appeal more to women, but men will be blessed as well. Each chapter ends with a prayer, a few questions for reflection, and a page to journal your thoughts. It reads like a devotional, but it is deep and rich. In 30 brief chapters, Kristen and Sarah work their way through 2 Corinthians 4 and 5 and show that it is possible to suffer and not lose heart. They remind us that God is with us, that He brings purpose to our pain, and that He understands suffering because He has suffered Himself. They remind us of heaven and encourage us to fix our eyes on the unseen. They point us to hope, even when it hurts. To learn more about Kristen and Sarah's book and to hear their testimony as they struggle with lyme disease, watch the 3.5 minute video below. You can buy their book, download free wallpaper, and read Stories of Hope (mine is included) on Kristen and Sarah's website hopewhenithurts.com. Hope When It Hurts is also available on Amazon and Christian Book Distributors. What is a favorite Christian book you've read on suffering? Share your recommendation below.
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AuthorHi! I'm Lauren Watt. I'm a 20 year old Christian, chronic illness warrior, and amateur artist and writer. Archives
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